I recommend reading “Positivity And State Conditioning — Why Seeing The Good In Yourself, Your Experiences, And Other People Makes You A More Potent Dude”

It’s a short essay that should not take more than 20 minutes to read. Below were my key takeaways.

P.S. It’s written by one of the founders of Real Social Dynamics, the world’s largest dating coaching company. I have no direct interest in dating coaching nor the “pick-up” community, but find a lot of the psychology focused articles extremely interesting.

P.P.S. His essays use the masculine gender because they are geared towards men, yet all the tips are equally applicable for men and women.

Attention & Value

When you’ll make noise about just anything, it reveals you as being the guy who has little to offer other than the role of the “sceptical voice of wisdom”. It’s not that your criticism isn’t valid. It’s just that the amount you focus on it shows you have nothing else going on.

A man has to have a sort of “standard” of what issues are worth his attention. The types of issues you ““make an issue out of” are a reflection of how you value yourself and your time.

The real players in this world are rarely critics. They’re the people who do what they do, and who create the energy that other people latch onto, including the critics.

On Trash Talking

The problem is that trash talking has a tendency to be addictive, and it becomes your “default mode” for relating to people and creating a bond. After a while it gets embedded into your psychology. You can barely go a day without using it as a “conversational crutch”.

Think of negativity as like a dirty energy that gives people an erratic buzz for a short period of time, but then leaves them feeling drained and sick of it in the long term.

That’s because as a rule of thumb, people tend to gravitate towards conversation topics that reflect their inner state.

Ironically it’s often the people who live very unsuccessful lives, and don’t respect themselves enough to care, who come across as being the most happy (the lack of personal standards allows them to be naturally “care free”).

sometimes people will try to “side step” the need to feel status by just looking down on everyone, so they can feel good about themselves by comparison.

Usually it’s people who are unclear in their sense of reality who feel the need to dwell on the negative. They do this with a positive intention, because they’re in a zone where they feel like if they didn’t, they’d inadvertently lose themselves.