Why do I have this website? Well, two primary reasons:

1. To help you answer the question, “who is he?” by conveying my personality.
2. To share more about myself so I can forge meaningful connections with like-minded people while filtering out people I probably won’t connect with.

My personality won’t be for everyone, and I’m ok with that. So go ahead and read the about me page or check out my twitter posts to get to know me a bit more.

Like or dislike me, my hope is to leave you with some type of reaction. And as always, feel free to contact me if you want to connect.

I just read “The Style Imparative” on Psyshology Today, which continues to be one of my favorite websites. In it, Estroff Marano clearly articulates the difference between fashion and style. What you wear not only says a lot about you, but it communicates so much more

Fashion is about clothes and their relationship to the moment. Style is about you and your relationship to yourself. Fashion is in the clothes. Style is in the wearer. The distinction could not be more revealing.

Style is, for starters, one part identity: self-awareness and self-knowledge. You can’t have style until you have articulated a self. And style requires security—feeling at home in one’s body, physically and mentally. Of course, like all knowledge, self-knowledge must be updated as you grow and evolve; style takes ongoing self-assessment.

“Clothes are separated from all other objects by being inseparable from the self,” Anne Hollander writes in her classic Seeing Through Clothes. “They give a visual aspect to consciousness itself.” Through clothes, we reinvent ourselves every time we get dressed. Our wardrobe is our visual vocabulary. Style is our distinctive pattern of speech, our individual poetry.

As the speed of all our transactions increases, we need fast ways of transmitting information about ourselves without losing authenticity

Style, on the other hand, doesn’t demand a credit card. It prospers on courage and creativity. Unlike fashion, style consumption isn’t promiscuous or random, at the whim of the marketplace or the urging of marketers. Rather, it is focused on what is personally suitable and expressive.

Style presumes that you are a person of interest, that the world is a place of interest, that life is worth making the effort for.

Ah, the proverbial question that is asked almost automatically when meeting a new person. More often than not, they’re simply asking so they make assumptions about you.

Oh, he’s in finance so he must make good money, be good with numbers and…boring,  maybe even a bit nerdy. She’s a sculptor so she must be poor, but interesting and creative.  In reality, putting people in clear-cut boxes never seems to work.

My answer, “I’m in IT consulting” draws a combination of blank stares, yawns and incorrect assumptions. I’ve actually had people react by saying something to the effect of, “but you don’t look like you’re in IT”. Right. I’m intentionally vague because I used to be specific, but got tired of explaining my specialization.

Artists and other “creatives”  are often the first ones to dismiss my job as boring. Sure, I may not have this guys job, but my work offers several benefits that I’m thankful for (freedom and flexibility being two that immediately come to mind).

Next time someone asks me what I do, I’m going to politely tell them I’m an adult entertainer. End of conversation.